July 16: Tour de Montana Day 1

I had 4 days off in a row, so I decided I was going to Glacier National Park with some stops on the way there and back. A big highway loop of Montana if you will. I went out the east gate of Yellowstone, and didn’t take any pics along the way, not sure why I didn’t, it was amazing, to Cody WY for the afternoon, then Billings MT for the night, Sat in Billings for the Big Sky Games (amateurs who sign up to compete against each other in events ranging from archery to bowling to arm wrestling to volleyball), onto Glacier NP for however long, then come back through Missoula and Bozeman. Lots of driving, but its all gorgeous up here and I love my time with Lola.

So I left out the east gate, I wont even talk about it bc I don’t have any pics. Lakes, heights, trees, flowers, you get the idea. Drove the desert portion of WY to get to Cody. It was hot, upper 90s. Its nice all the time in Yellowstone, so Im not gonna complain, but I have been wanting some real heat for a while, finally got it. Stopped in Cody for lunch, walked around downtown until I found a spot I was not surprised to find in Wyoming, pic above. I didn’t even look at the other meats, I should have, I had the elk burger and it was great. Elk meat is the bees knees. I met a couple bus drivers from Eugene Oregon in there, really nice guys, but these jokers went with the buffalo burger. Rookies. I was in and out of Cody pretty quick, but I had to get gas before I left. When I stopped, I asked a huge, intimidating bald man with a gotee for directions to a certain hwy to get to Billings. I didn’t want to discriminate, sure he was intimidating, loading his cooler full of beer that was on the tailgate of his monster truck, but he seemed legit, why shouldn’t I ask him? I asked him how to get to this hwy, and the most eloquent British accent came out of his mouth. I was expecting, “Weill, ya git on dis heire road, git up a few a dem dare stop lights, gitcha a left turn in nare, and thian… you wanna beer, pussy?” Not even close. You never can tell, good thing I wasn’t discriminating. He told me how to get to where I needed to go (which I eventually screwed up, but I digress…) and I asked the obvious question: “What the F are you doing in my country, Moneypenny?” He said he was a professor at the U of Georgia and a friend said he should move to Wyoming bc he would love it, so he did 20 yrs ago to work on a dude ranch and that’s where he’s been ever since. Wish I would have talked to him longer. But he had beer to drink and I had taffy to eat, ‘good lucks’ were exchanged and I hit the road. I got to Billings around 5 or so and it was hot. (“How hot was it?”) It was so hot, Dick Cheney waterboarded himself. Stole that from Letterman. So good. It got up to 108! What the shit, Montana?? I mean, it was a welcomed heat for me, but you gotta let me know. It was 70 when I left old faithful. Good thing I have Lola, she had the AC ready for its first use of the year like it was mid August in STL. I got a room in downtown Billings (AAA discount, what what!!) plotted out my moves for the Big Sky games and the best way to get to GNP with my computer, maps, and local newspapers strewn on my generic hotel bedspread. Once I was comfortable with the plans, I showered up and headed to Walkers, a modern grill & tapas spot I noticed in the downtown area while looking for a place to stay. Posted up at the bar, glass of wine, buffalo osso buco, and sportscenter. Word. After that, I walked around the downtown area, stopping by bars and having a drink at each, talking to whoever. There was one spot I really wanted to go into, I walked by it a few times, I couldn’t figure it out. It seemed like most if it’s patrons were out front of the bar on the sidewalk rather than inside. Remember, its hot as shit outside, so that doesn’t make much sense. There was a boom box playing bizarre music on the sidewalk, the best way I can describe the music was talk radio put to a beat with no rhythm. Most of the patrons seemed to be shouting at each other but getting along just fine. I walked by an obnoxious amount of times trying to figure it out. Verdict: Awesome weirdos. I was going to go in, but I was dressed relatively nice, I figured that was enough to get my ass kicked or at least yelled at on the sidewalk next to the boombox, I wasn’t really prepared for that so I went to a martini bar a couple doors down, walked around a bit more, then back to the room to rest up for a big day of arm wrestling and QT with Lola.