Aug 17: Swimming With 4 Different Continents

Today was another relaxing day. In the afternoon I felt like going swimming and so did a few other people in my dorm. The group that formed was the pic above. From left to right: Meg from Taiwan; she is a host in the restaurant, my dumb ass, Daniel from Prague; He is a server in the restaurant with me, Nataliia from Ukraine; She is a server assistant in the restaurant and also my neighbor in the dorm, and them Mena my roommate from Egypt who works in housekeeping. We had a blast. I talked to Daniel a lot on the drive and you really cant tell he has only been speaking English for just over a decade. He sounds like he is from the US and speaks well for a citizen. He is like Mel Gibson in the sense that once in a while you catch an accent on certain words, but for the most part he could say he is from Wyoming and get by, which he actually does. All of our nametags say our name and where we are from. His says Wyoming. He says he gets sick of explaining he is from Prague, people asking questions, etc. I could imagine. He speaks well enough where you wouldn’t even question it. Meg goes to school in Taiwan and studies foreign languages as her major, she can fluently speak Chinese, Japanese, and English. A lot of international people here don’t pick up on American sarcasm/jokes and she does, shes a lot of fun. Nataliia is the sweetest girl here. She is only 18 and carries herself at a very mature level. I feel like her big brother most of the time, but she is plenty tough where she doesn’t need any looking after and will let you know it, not directly, just the way she carries herself. Mena. He has to be the nicest person on the planet. Has to be. He always offers to do things for me, my laundry, get me something to eat or drink, etc. I do work a lot, so he always wants to do things for me to make my life easier. I have never taken him up on anything bc I would feel awful if I did. He really just wants to help so Im ok with his offers, but sometimes I just wanna say, “Enough man. No one is that nice.” But he really is.

In the car we talked about how we were all from different continents except Daniel and Nataliia. 4 different continents in one car. Lola. After we talked about it we all got quiet for a minute or so, I think we were all kind of amazed/pleased with the situation we found ourselves in and took a moment to appreciate it, at least thats what I did. The other pic is from that night driving to West Yellowstone to get some Chinese food after we swam….

And yes, I noticed that all the guys bellies are hanging out in the picture....

Aug 16: Laying Low

Has it really been 2 weeks since Ive posted?? Again, time FLIES here.....

Welcome to the busiest 2 weeks of the year here at Yellowstone! The next 2 weeks are supposed to be very busy, especially this year at the Old Faithful location bc the new monstrous visitor center is opening next week. Lots of big wig CEOs, senators, governors, etc will be in attendance, and rumors that the president himself will make an appearance. Only 8 servers were selected to work the big banquet/cocktail party for all these hot shots, and Kenny P is one of them. I think I got picked bc my travel plans to STL got screwed up and my manager felt bad, but more than likely its bc Im the shit. My goal if the long shot of meeting the president does happen is to make him laugh. Not that cheesy fake laugh he has, but a real one, a belly laugh. I was thinking about saying “And you are……..?” but it’s the president, little too far, gotta show more respect than that. Maybe ask him whose suits he likes better: Kim Jung Il or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? I’d like to see how he would field that one anyway. I wonder if secret service would take my wine key away…. Or tackle me if I tried to open a bottle of wine near the president…. All questions that will go unanswered bc the likelihood of the prez showing up is very slim, but it would be pretty awesome.

Like I said last time, I am taking my weekends pretty easy and keeping it cheap for the upcoming STL trip, so today I caught up on some sleep, worked out, and went for a drive into Montana for the rest of the day. The weather was great, it looked like it could rain but the roads I took kept leading me away from the clouds. I started out the drive to a place in the park that I love. Its near the West entrance, an unmarked gravel road that leads to an open field that leads right up to the Madison River, with a mountain range in Montana off in the distance to the northwest, pic above. I posted up with a book and laid down on a picnic bench close enough to the river that you could hear trout jumping out from time to time. It was really relaxing, except for this one bug that made a clicking noise as it flew around, and it never stopped flying the whole time I was there. Do insects get tired? Don’t they have to? I mean, I was there for over an hour and this guy was cruising around the whole time. I left him alone bc its more his home than mine, but he better watch his ass if he finds himself in my dorm room. Once the rain clouds were imminent, I decided to hit the road into Montana and explore the West Yellowstone airport and other roads I have not yet travelled.

I took some random hwy heading west into Montana that runs along Hebgen Lake. It is so pretty out here. I just drove for a while until I got hungry enough to head back to Yellowstone, pics above.

Aug 10: Yellowstone attracts all types of killers

Yellowstone. Definition: A physical location in Wyoming marked as a National Park totaling close to 2.2 million acres of pure death. You can die a number of horrible deaths including, but not limited to: boiling to death in a geo thermal feature, bear attacks, mountain lion mauling, pack of wolves feasting on your carcass, coyotes if you’re a giant sissy mary, and now featuring escaped convicts who really only want your wheels and the time that will elapse until your body is found. These dudes left the car they killed 2 people for in the same parking lot where I park my car, about 200 yds from where I sleep. That’s nice. Warm fuzzies. Unreal. Now when I go hiking I have to be bear aware, and weary of a white supremacist in the bush who can only lose 2 things: his life and his new found freedom. The authorities are under the impression these 2 things are not mutually exclusive to the familial lovers. I assume he and his lady are nowhere near here anymore, but who knows. There is a lot more ranger presence around OF, and the word is that this place is crawling with US Marshals. Must be undercover. Im a little disappointed that the authorities aren’t warning the public more… well… at all. There are wanted posters all over the employee areas, but I haven’t seen 1 in any of the public areas. I understand the idea of not causing a panic, but explain that to the family of someone who gets killed here for their car/food/money when a wanted poster at a campsite could have prevented anything from happening. Descending from soap box… The odds are against Bonnie and Clyde here, most fugitives don’t last very long on the run in the grand scheme of prison breaks.

And those bear attacks in Cooke City? That made national news too. Apparently the mother bear was very thin for her size and her 3 cubs were each 40-50 lbs underweight. The rangers now think that the mother was super desperate to feed her cubs and that’s why she attacked those campers despite the fact there was no food in their entire site. The rangers already euthanized at least the mother and plan to do the same to the cubs when they are found. I haven’t heard anything in about a week, so they might have already found them, not sure. Also, do not google image 'bear attack', some of the pics are a little too gnarly.

This weekend has been very relaxing, worked out, went on a 10 mile bike ride on a bike path about 10 miles from OF near grand prismatic today, got dinner in West Yellowstone last night, just keeping it local and cheap in preparation for my trip to STL in 2 weeks!!!!!

Also, thank you Celeste for your note. I just got it today. It means a lot that you think of me. I think of you often, I will call you soon. I love you very much.

Aug 3: Parenting

I woke up around 8 or 9am since my schedule wont physically let me sleep later than 9am even if I go to bed at 6am (tested that scenario), Dee Dee had made breakfast, again (I have to say, I really miss home cooked meals. I guess I didn’t realize the extent until I had them for a few days and then forced back to the cafeteria grub. Thanks Dee Dee and Kate, for the food, the info, the hospitality, treating me like family, everything, thank you. Mom, I am sorry I ever gave you any grief as a kid about your cooking. You are an amazing cook. Please mail me some of your stuffing.). I ate, said my thank yous and goodbyes, and set out for a slow drive back to Yellowstone with some stops on the way in Jackson, Moose Junction (GTNP), and Jackson Lake Lodge for lunch.

The weather out here at this time of year is perfection. 50s in the morning quickly warming to 70s by 10 or 11am, no humidity, always a breeze, Im really gonna miss it in a month when it starts snowing again. So I bummed around Jackson for a couple of hours then headed north for a stop or 2. The drive through the Tetons never gets old. They are just as majestic and enthralling as the first time. They are so close to the hwy and so clearly defined by the sun, shadows, and whats left of the snow, you can almost feel the sharp edges and cliffs on a clear day. When I see them now I always think about how bad I want to stand on top of the highest peak in the Tetons (which is Grand Teton Peak, big surprise). The pinnacle usually hangs out in the clouds, but the last few times Ive seen it it’s been like, (Family Guy Community leader/teacher guy voice) “Hey. KP. Cmon up. Look. See, its all clear up here. Nothing to be afraid of but a little snow. Just get your little butt up here and lets have a moment, make a memory. Oh, and whats going on with Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian? They for real?”

My next stop was Jackson Lake Lodge. Jackson Lake and Jenny Lake are the 2 lakes that border the Tetons. So the view from either are great, but Jackson Lake runs along the range, right in front of them. Saw a mother and baby moose on the way to Jackson Lake Lodge. When you walk in the front door of the lodge, it is not unlike a terminal of an airport, which I found odd. I held my judgment until I made my way up the large staircase directly in front of me. I walked up the stairs and bam, there were the Tetons, like a gigantic painting which was actually a wall of windows, pic above. The lobby upstairs was lodge perfection. Big stuffed grizzly and other animals that weren’t bears so who gives a shit about those, leather couches and chairs, low lighting, ‘modern rustic’ if you will, a bar with a patio looking out to the mountains, so neat. I just missed lunch in the main restaurant, so I got a chicken sandwich and a huckleberry shake (life changing) to-go from the throwback ‘50s diner next door to the main restaurant. I took my num nums outside and just lounged in the sun, did some people watching, etc. Now….. I am not a parent, so I cannot judge parents/parenting bc I don’t have a leg to stand on, but it seems a lot of parents are doing it wrong. Everyone makes mistakes, I get that, even the best parents screw up sometimes. Im not saying they are bad parents, but if you tell your kid, “If you don’t stop that right now I am going to leave you here and we’re going home without you!!!” That’s a little messed up. What was more messed up was the other parents and grandparents within earshot nodding to this woman as if to say, “yes ma’am, that’s how you handle this situation. I totally agree with how you are rearing your child.” It proved ineffective bc the kid didn’t stop climbing on the rocks, and I nodded to the child as if to say, “Yes. That’s right. You know she won’t leave you. Climb on, you little shit. She’s being totally unreasonable threatening you like that instead of walking her lazy ass over to you and explaining that you could get hurt on the rocks, or simply distract you with a game, ice cream, an empty promise you will forget about bc your memory span is all of 5 seconds long, or a compromise of some kind for getting off the rocks, or really any other option besides the one she chose, since it seems there is obviously no respect between the 2 of you at all, and by her candor I am witnessing I cant fathom why you wouldn’t……” Again, I am no parent, so I cant judge, but is it that hard to outsmart a child? I guess it is since so many people fail trying and it would also explain the success of “Are You Smarter Than a 5^th Grader.” Lots of epic fails I have personally witnessed in the Stone. Kids on leashes??? Really??? At any given moment you can walk around the geysers and see it. Hahahahaha. I cant wait til those kids grow up and see pics of this vacation, “Was I on a F*CKING leash?!” I think back to when I was a kid, Dave and I were really lucky (now… how lucky Mike WC and Ruby Tues were is a different story, I know now exactly how much of a little shit I was) and Donovan and little Gwen have it as good as it gets. Dave and Colleen, I commend you for your excellent parenting in a sea of parental slobs. It really becomes apPARENT (you see what I did there… with the word….) when you see some of the exchanges here. You set yourselves apart so far from others in your generation attempting to do the same. Kudos. Way off topic… So I walked around the lodge for a few minutes after eating, then hooked back up with Lola for a lazy drive back to Old Faithful with a huge watermelon sucker that warped my face.

Aug 2: Gun Laws? What next, new immigration policy??

The next day we went into town and shopped a little bit. I tried to buy a gun but apparently there are “gun laws”. Whats the big deal with guns? So what if I was drunk when I wanted to buy it? And shirtless? With a sharpie mustache? No, they said bc I was out of state that they would have to mail it back to MO and I could pick it up there. But the salesman offered me a rifle, … “you could walk right out of here with a rifle…” I am still having a little trouble understanding why I can buy an automatic assault rifle, walk right out the door with it and enough ammo to chop down a sequoia, but not a hand gun…. Seems a little counterproductive… After my disappointing gun purchase attempt, we went back to the ranch for some lunch and another hike. This hike was in the opposite direction as the day before. This hike was much more wide open, kind of how I pictured Montana before I got out here. We walked by a few horse ranches, fed some of them, strolled down a road lined with aspen trees, quasi kidnapped a dog who wouldn’t stop following us til its owner drove by and picked him up, got yelled at by a guy on bike, walked down the middle of a road by the Snake River, ran out of water (at the end), it was a lot of fun. When we got back we relaxed on the back deck for a while drinking tons of agua. We went out to eat a little later at a place called Sidewinders and extended Dee Dee’s bday celebration. After dinner, we went back to the ranch and fought as hard as we could to stay awake, but it was a loosing battle.

July 31 & Aug 1 The Miller Ranch

So its been a while since Ive written last, I haven’t had a whole lot of down time lately. I have met lots of people including: the nicest German couple ever, a couple from Alaska and the husband taught Sarah Palin’s daughter during the election (not the whore, the other one), a really nice couple from Chicago swearing they will get me a job there, and a whole lot of other people I dont feel like listing. This weekend was awesome. My friend Kate and her family have a ranch about 10 miles south of Jackson Wyoming. Jackson is about a 2 hr drive south from where I stay and you have to drive directly through Grand Teton NP to get there. Sucks. Kate, her friend Julie who now lives in Fort Collins CO, and her mom Dee Dee were all going to be at the ranch for a few days. They invited me down to check it out. I ended up getting out of work on Sunday, so I had Saturday night through Tuesday free. Word up. The drive to Jackson was pretty epic. The weather was unreal when I started, the kind of weather you want all the time. Warm in the sun, perfect in the shade, perfect day to drive or jump rope with your posse. A few miles outside the south entrance of Yellowstone, I came upon a small, sloppy traffic jam. It looked like there was a big brown blob on the left side of the road in the grass near the traffic jam. As I got closer, I realized it was a MF BEAR!!!!! YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES no YES!!!! It was a huge grizzly. HUGE. I took a video of the bear ripping up grass and doing other funny bear stuff, its too long to post, but we all know bears are funny as shit… until they attack you. If I were a bear, I would attack people too. And cars. The people were whistling and yelling at the bear, snapping pics, taking video, pulling their car as close as they could leaning out of the car to get the closest pic possible, just general annoying stuff. I heard the bears in Yosemite beat cars up on the regular. They walk up to you car, and if you aren’t quick to dole out yum yums, they start bashing in your hood with their paws. Ive heard about this more than once, both from people who worked there previously. Needless to say when I drive through Yosemite my car will be covered in honey and polish sausage… So I cruised past the bear and on through the rest of Teton. The weather got a little dicey once all the Tetons were visible, but it made for some amazing pics. Even with the weather at the end of the drive, it still only took 2 hours. Once I got to the ranch, it was better than I imagined. You take a steep gravel road up and around beautiful Wyoming back country to a house tucked away on a hill surrounded by mountains and gorgeous views. The first night we ate ribs, drank like fish, laughed a lot, it was great. That night I slept on the couch and had a HD tv with just about any channel I could ask for. I haven’t had tv for months, and/or cable for a couple yrs now. So when I laid down on the couch and turned on the tube, what did I end up watching after channel surfing??? Jersey Shore. Its just so good. Ronnie and Jennifer need to get their shit together.

The next day the 4 of us went to a neighbor’s place. This neighbor is Mill Iron Ranch. The family who owns the ranch is 5^th and 6^th generation original settlers. Same place the whole time. Crazy. They do horseback tours around the area, so we fed some horses and checked out their spread. It was awesome. They prob have 100 horses or so, lots of Clydesdale types too. Julie left after the horse visit, Kate, Dee Dee and I went on a hike. Kate’s family’s land backs up to a National Forest, so you could say we went hiking in their backyard. Now that I have been a few places in the US, I can say that Montana and Wyoming are def in the top 5 most beautiful states, right behind Kansas. Its just great out here. The hike was full of beautiful valleys and mountains, green fields, rock cliffs, creeks, evergreen trees, all sorts of flowers, and a great tour guide in Dee Dee to explain it all. After the hike, the 3 of us cleaned up and went to dinner for Dee Dee’s birthday at Rendevous in Jackson. We didn’t last long after we got back from dinner, we were all pretty tired.