June 13: Happy Bday Big Man!!!

Happy 2^nd Birthday Big MAN DonoVAN!!!!! Uncle Ka is thinking of you and your parents, grand parents, and the entire fam a lot!!! Stay frosty little man!!!

June 10: Bears are small

If you cant tell, I am sick of not seeing any bears. Johnny had the genius idea of going to the wolf and bear exhibit in West Yellowstone. They have a small but informative museum area, and out back is where they keep the real deal….. live bears and wolves. I felt like I was cheating a little by going, but its been almost a month and a half, Im overdue. Its usually $10, but bc we work for the park it was free. Bawlyoo. I wasn’t all that interested in the wolves until I got there, but they are really neat. There were about 10 wolves, 5 in 2 separate exhibits. They fed them right when we arrived. This place is neat bc they only take wolves and bears that wouldn’t survive anyway, meaning their mother, pack were killed or were abandoned very young. They would not have survived without this place. The bear exhibit only has 2 bears out at a time, 7 total, and we just happened to be there when they had the 2 biggest grizzlies out, and it was feeding time. They were brother and sister, their mother had been killed. The workers hide their food under rocks, very big rocks, corners of the exhibit, all over really, so you get to watch seek it out. The female was 750 lbs and the male was 980 lbs. When I read that, I thought these bears were gonna be enormous. Johnny was talking about how huge they were when they came out, and I was saying I didn’t think they looked that big. I mean, they were big, but 980 lbs? I pictured the beast of a bear in National Lampoon’s Vacation with John Candy. This 980 lb bear came out and I was like, “I would slap him around.” Then after they ate, they started to “play.” They were kicking the shit out of each other, and this is when I really noticed their size. They stand up, slap each other in the face (really hard), you get a good look at the claws, and get a glimpse of how easily your head could fit in their mouth when they are biting each other. I couldn’t imagine dealing with any of that. As far as the wolves go, I was very impressed. They had a great video going about wolves showing wolves hunting/stalking elk in Yellowstone. I think I would be more afraid of a pack of wolves than a bear after seeing that. They are impressive. I kept looking at the wolves in the exhibit, then back to the video over and over, almost in disbelief. I was thinking they look so harmless in person, but then you see them separate a herd elk and chase down one elk that stands out to them over miles of all kinds of terrain. Bears just swipe fish and raid trash cans and aren’t very good at either. Wolves are the real deal. I mean, I knew what they were all about before I got there, but its different when you see them in person. I guess you appreciate them more. Don’t get me wrong, I still love me a bear, just surprised that their size wasn’t more intimidating. However, the female moved a near boulder size rock bc she thought there was food under it. And she did it with ease. She looked over after she did it and all I could think was “no thank you ma’am.” I want no part of that. 

They also had a stuffed polar bear who had the most funny and stupid looking facial expression, had to get that. 

June 9: Teton This!

So yesterday was nice, 55 - 65 and sunny when we got outside in the morning, and Johnny and I are both off until Saturday night, so we decided to go down to Grand Teton National Park and go for a hike. We heard there was a great 8-10 mile hike called Hermitage Point. The trail is supposed to be along the lake with the Tetons in background the whole time. BY. We drove south through Yellowstone and part of Grand Teton NP, nothing is frozen over anymore. Still some snow up in elevation, but all the lakes are thawed out. The drive down there is really pretty because you drive by Yellowstone Lake, through high elevations, waterfalls, canyons, and that’s all before you leave Yellowstone. We stopped at the first stop in Teton which is Flagg Ranch and got directions to the hike we wanted, and the ranger also gave us a list of other great hikes in Teton. We will probably just throw that away. We drove the 24 miles to Cortal Bay through basically a forest with intermittent mountain views. We found the trailhead, made sure we had everything, and set out. The hike was just how it was described, near the water the whole time with the Tetons right there. It was unreal. We had some pretty weird weather which made for some great pics. It would be sunny, then light drizzle, then clouds that turned everything blue, it was great. The hike is basically a loop from Cortal Bay to Hermitage Point, which is where the land ends on that side of the water, and then you loop back by Swan lake returning to Cortal Bay. The hike started so great, it was like an old country road running along side the water that takes you back into the woods. I was surprised to see how much grass there was back in the forest. Everything was so green. Even though you couldn’t see the Tetons at that point, it was still amazing. Lots of pine trees too, needless to say the smell was euphoric pine trees, clean mountain air, some fresh horse shit here and there, mmmmmmmmmm. It has been raining a lot, so we had to dodge a few big puddles on the trail, but for the most part it was pretty easy going. Every so often you would come to a clearing and there would be the Tetons. I can only put up 4 pics, so if you want to see more, you can go to my facebook and look under the Yellowstone album or under Johnny's which is linked on my page under Yellostohno!!!!! album. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=547979919.

 

There were really only 2 things I would have changed about the day, well, really only 1. We came to a clearing, it was sunny and we were about half way done, so we decided to go to the edge of the cliff and sit and eat overlooking the water and the Tetons. I sat on a root of a tree. SAP. Not Spanish translation for your TV, I mean tree sap, all over my pants (ass). It smelled wonderful, but dammit anyway. The other thing I might change was the rain that came down the last 2 miles of the hike. I don’t think I would change it bc it was kind of nice to see everything in that weather too, especially bc we prepared for rain so it was no big deal. Obviously I would have liked to see it sunny and 80 all day, but it was great the way it was. 

June 8: Bears Suck

In Gardiner MT right now, I have the next 3 days off. I worked a triple, not a double, a triple yesterday, all 3 meals. About 15 hrs on the clock, but it got me 3 days off in a row, and today is GORGEOUS. Pics above of the drive to Gardiner, the last one of my view of where I am typing right now. Drove through bear country again. Zero bears. Im actually starting to get pissed. It was funny, now its just stupid. 

Just got a text from Robbie and he let me know that one of the managers at the restaurant told him that I got the warehouse job. But he just told me I was gonna be a server? Organization = minor detail. Oh well, its a win win for KPo. 

If the weather stays like this, I will have some hiking and camping pics in a few days. Johnny and I are probably gonna at least go for a long hike if not camp as well over the next couple days. 

On the way up here, I stopped by the Mammoth location and got something to eat in their hotel restaurant and talked to a few of the employees there. They all swore that this place will turn to heaven in 3 weeks max as far as weather goes. Right on Mammoth. I can dig it. There is evidence to support this, on the way up here I noticed flowers that werent there a couple weeks ago...... Beeeeeeeeeeewyahl. I wanna wear shorts and get some sunburns already. 

I dont think I mentioned this, but Bozeman MT, every thursday in July and August, blocks off main st. for live music and street drinking. Sounds boring. No fun there. Maybe stop by the whitewater rafting spot on the way. Probably not. That wouldnt be any fun. Splash some whitewater then listen to local musicians and drink microbrews in perfect weather in the mountains?..... Pass. I am soooo pumped for more weather like this. It opens up so many more possibilities like that....

June 6

Wow. What happened to the last 4 or 5 days? Time goes by at least twice as fast here. I thought today was seriously Friday and its Sunday. In the past few days I have been to West Yellowstone with Johnny to watch Game 1 of the NBA finals, found out I am going to be a server at the restaurant, worked a bit, ran, and watched it absolutely pour down rain for almost 5 days straight. The one day it wasn’t pouring I went out for a run and it started sleeting (sleet sleet) almost right away. It has rained so much that there was a mudslide somewhere in the park. That somewhere happened to be where the service tower is located. No internet, no cell phones, no landlines. Dear engineers who put that tower there…. Stop drinking on the job….. It was fixed the same night, but people were freaking out for a few hours.

 

I did have another great, “that’s what she said” moment that I had to pass on…. I was running food the other night for all the servers. I delivered a chimichanga to a table of six along with the rest of their food. I remember only the chimichanga bc of the comment. I presented said chimi to a lady. The gentleman next to her said, “That would be perfect for me, but the meat would fill me up.” I think I even made the jaw dropping ‘holy shit’ face at him. Jokes on him, the chimi is a vegetarian dish. Zing.

 

Last night I met a family from Town & Country MO. They came into the restaurant while I was working. 3 kids. Hilarious. The whole family was great. They were there later in the evening as it was slowing down so I got to talk to them for a while. They filled me in on the latest Cards shtuff. They were so pumped that they got to see a bear and 4 cubs. I would be too. A grand total of 7 bears in 1 day they came across. W T F ? I have seen 1 bear this whole time and Im not sure I should even count it, it was so far away. At this point I would settle for a guy in a bearsuit (beeeeeeeeaaaarsuit) walking around smoking a cig. I am gonna bathe in honey, carry a summer sausage in each hand wearing a T shirt that says “edible” and just start marching north.

 

C Walker update: He pooped his pants while working in the kitchen at OFI, so he requested, and was granted, a transfer to the Canyon location, I assume playing the embarrassment card. I don’t know the full story, but Johnny works in the kitchen, so Im sure the full scoop will get to me eventually. Im actually gonna miss him. He was quite entertaining, especially when he met new people. Entertaining in an uncomfortable, Borat interview, sort of way. I really liked to watch how people reacted to him. For all who know him, this guy is a Tom Pfhuel type. That caliber. If you don’t know Tom Pfhuel, you should be sorry. He would go to parties chewing a toothbrush. He would poop in his own hand to throw it at someone else. True story. Quite a human. As is C Walker, not as nasty as Tom P. but definitely as outrageous. 

June 1: Really?? June??

Holy shit its June. Robbie and I got up, got breakfast, went to a thrift store and a book store in Bozeman. The book store was so great. I got a book called “Stuff White People Like.” Hilarious. Everyone should read this book. I read a bunch of the things white people like already, I was laughing so hard, but also thinking, “Yes Yes, I do like that.” It was gorgeous in Bozeman. The drive back was rainy and full of drivers who were not aware of the speed limit, got back just in time to run through the shower, shovel some food down and get to work just in time. Thankfully work was slow. I finally got my weekends changed to Wednesdays and Thursdays. Same as Johnny’s, Robbie’s are Tuesday and Wednesdays. Bewyaw. 

May 31: Bozeman Montana Babay!

Today was my Sunday, and Im not working until 5pm on my Monday (which is actually Tuesdays for now) so I decided to get up a little early and drive to Bozeman Montana. I didn’t take many pics. I think it was because the town was so awesome, but in a way that you had to be there, at least, a picture doesn’t explain how perfectly modern yet old time small town it is. The drive up there was so amazing. I really lucked out on weather, the high ended up being 70, sunny almost all day, but it did rain that night. The drive was so great bc it only took about 2 hours and it was mostly through Gallatin National Forest. Needless to say there were lots of trees. There was a river running along the highway for the majority of the drive, saw some people whitewater rafting on that guy. Mental note. It was just amazing. This drive was really how I pictured Montana before I got here. Lots of trees, then ultra green hills leading into snowcapped mountains, green tinted water rushing through unbelievable terrain, cabins here and there, ranches with homemade signs over the entrances, so great. I can honestly say that the best smell I have ever smelled, I mean I literally just couldn’t get enough, came about 30 or 40 miles from Bozeman. It absolutely flooded my car, like when you pass a skunk or something. I had the sunroof and windows down, and I had just exited the valley I had been driving in for a while. I really don’t know how to describe it….. Clean, natural, like fresh cut grass but different, some sort of flower, I think I got high off it. It was just the natural smell of that area I guess. It smelled so phenomenal. I want to bottle that stuff up as cologne and sell it as “Montana”. The adds would be of a bear dressed as a cowboy doing all sorts of cowboy stuff. So Bozeman is awesome. You drive into town and it looks like any modern suburb. Modern yet rustic looking strip malls/office centers, fast food places. But then you get into the old part of town, main st. Neat little shops, restaurants with patios, modern feel with old time charm. Reminds me of Lincoln Park in Chicago a little bit. I had to run some errands (Target for everyday things) and get a hotel room, then I started just walking around main st. I came across a wine bar and posted up there. I ended up having dinner there. Bison tenderloin. B O O Y A H. I was just gonna bar hop by myself then crash, but Robbie called me and said he was gonna come up. It turns out that our friend Chelsea from New Jersey was already in Bozeman visiting her cousin who lives there and our other friend Lucy from the UK was gonna ride up with Robbie. So I just kept eating and drinking at the wine bar waiting for the crew to arrive. They showed up a while later and the 5 of us hung out. It was nice to have someone who lives in Bozeman to show us around. We were at the wine bar for couple drinks then went to a bar called the crystal I think. We were told it was a great people watching spot. They were right. Yikes. Example: I was in the bathroom and a guy came in while I was peeing and said “it sucks getting stabbed in the hand.” This guy was about 6’4 250 lbs of pure tatted meat. I turned around and asked the obvious question “Will you shut the f%#* up bro?” No, not at all, I asked what happened and he said a guy stabbed him in the hand the previous night and it was 'still bleeding'. I asked if he was a bouncer, he said no and didn’t get into much detail about the stabbing, so I used my better judgment and ceased quenching my curiosity. I then informed him that stitches might be a good idea at this point, calling attention to the fact that his blood had not clotted in over 24 hrs. He said he "had thought of that, but the cut was so deep.” So he showed me. It was very deep. I went to zip (button) my fly, he exited. I guess if a cut is that deep, medical attention becomes a bad idea, or at least that was his rationale. He held napkins in the bar the rest of the night, I assume as some sort of bandage/blood sponge. Welcome to Montana. He would wear my cologne. The girls went back to Chelsea’s cousin’s and Robbie and I went back to the hotel and watched funny youtube videos and probably would have annoyed other people in the hotel if anyone was actually staying there. Do me a favor and google or youtube '2 yr old smoking'. So wrong, but this little guy is the coolest looking smoker I have ever seen in my entire life. If you get the right video, the anchorwoman explains the story. Hilarious. Totally wrong, but hilarious.